There’s no easy way to say this, but you can’t have sex solo in a pandemic. Well, you can, if you consider webcam, porn, sex toys, props and blowup dolls real sex. Who’s judging? Everyone’s new normal looks very different from two months ago. Don’t leave just yet though! There are ways to have intimacy and connect with someone while social distancing, if you are not quarantined with your partner or another person. You must be asking yourself, how can I have sex while social distancing though?
You would be shocked at the number of people who find talking about sexual intercourse, foreplay and intimacy intimidating. So this is the perfect time to really get to know your partner, and explore what he or she likes while you are apart. If you are new lovers this is a great way to tease one another and drive up the passion. The challenging part is being vulnerable and talking about what you want to do with and to one another.
The first time I had phone sex I was a bit timid too. I was a two-drink minimum kind of girl if you wanted me to get freaky in the bedroom… if you know what I mean?! But after dating sober guys, older men, and getting very comfortable with my anatomy and body, phone sex is a second language––sorry mom. Though I know this isn’t for everyone, sexual exploration can be awakening, and a way for you to experiment with yourself. Get out of your head and comfort zone about the preconceived notion you have now. Open yourself up to trying something new. How can you know if you like something if you have never tried it?
If you are really comfortable with phone sex up the ante with a FaceTime sex date. At this point it’s no secret that we all masterbate, so what’s the harm in letting your partner in on that? Being comfortable in your skin is key to letting others explore your body. When you can talk about it openly and confidently it allows you to mature sexually and grow together. I lost my virginity at twenty-three and eventually came around, so I know others can too. I was the latest bloomer I know and look at me now writing about sex. HA! Sex and masturbation is pleasurable so take time to please yourself.
Funny story, I was twenty-five when I had my first phone sex date. This was before FT chats. We were 1500 miles away and aroused on the call. He led, I followed. I learned a lot about him and myself after that call. It was sexy and scary. So intimate I remember thinking at one point it was almost as good as sex because he was completely vulnerable and willing to satisfy all of my needs verbally. He knew what he wanted, and what he was doing. He truly helped my sexual peak. Thanks, Owen! A million years later I found myself in another long distance courtship. Only that time he was even more sexually aware. His romanticism and thoughtfulness added a level of curiosity and chemistry which helped me understand what I needed to be satisfied.
Phone sex doesn’t cure all, but it does bring you back full circle with yourself. It reminds you what you like, what you want, and how it feels. Have you ever been intimate with someone and thought WTF are you doing? I don’t like this? Or I need more of that? You can avoid all the woes and stick to the wows with a little kinky bedside talk while sexting or FaceTime sex-talking. Reach outside of your comfort zone and get yourself some sex toys, lube, or a good sext buddy and pleasure yourself. If your are afraid or opposed to taking care of yourself, this may be exactly what you need to reach your highest level of intimacy alone, and with a partner. If you need a little help I’ve added a shop to kickstart your libido! You can thank me later.
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